Quarterlife Crisis Diagnosed
By Terry Rendón, 04.04.05
It’s great to be in your early twenties; you are young and still legally considered an adult. This might seem like a carefree and ideal time of life, but that is not what many twentysomethings are revealing. The early twenties are awkward years filled with uncertainty and difficult life lessons to learn. Many of life’s huge questions are still unanswered. My generation has named this transition into adulthood “quarterlife crisis.”
Twentysomethings see their high school or college buddies making big changes; such as moving across country or getting married, and wonder if they are making the right decisions in life. The uncertainty that results from constant changes can cause anxiety and frustration. As a 23-year-old, I can relate to the feeling of questioning and doubting the choices I’m currently making in my professional and personal life.
In college, everything is planned. We have class schedules, syllabi with details on assignments and due dates, and professors are more than willing to work with us. The previous description does not by any means describe work life. So some twentysomethings feel unprepared to enter the work force.
Authors Alexandria Robbins and Abby Wilmer describe the quarterlife crisis in their book “Quarterlife Crisis”:
So while the midlife crisis revolves around a doomed sense of
stagnancy, of a life set on pause while the rest of the world
rattles on, the quarterlife crisis is a response to overwhelming
instability, constant change, too many choices, and a panicked
sense of helplessness.
Generation X-ers have more choices than any generation before. The job market does not look the same as did thirty years ago because of the technology boom.
Boomerang Kids-They Come Back
One of the side effects of quarterlife crisis is that many young adults are moving back home after college as they try to sort out plans for the future. These living-at-home adults are called “Boomerang Kids.” The lack-luster economy and young adults waiting longer to marry may be causing this increase.
According to a USA Today report, a survey of 2004 college graduates showed that 57 percent planned to move back in with their parents. The Census Bureau’s American Housing Survey revealed that almost 16 million families had at least one child over 18 living at home in 2003.
Another reason for this trend is that young adults are having a difficult trying to find a job that pays well enough to move out. Generation X-ers have repeatedly been told by society to “do what you love” unlike the previous generation, where getting a job was necessary for supporting a family. Therefore, many recent college graduates are waiting for a job that not only pays the bills, but brings fulfillment. Twentysomethings have incredibly high expectations when it comes to career choices—sometimes to a fault.
Wilner and Robbins offer several tips to recent graduates searching for a job. They say not to have a career plan. Wilner told Monster.com, “You don't need to freak out if you have no idea what you want to do with your life.” Many college graduates do not find jobs in the field earned their degree in.
Wilner also suggests separating a job's meaning from its trappings. A job does not define a person or their life. “You have to figure out what's meaningful to you in your career, and what will warm your heart and make you want to jump out of bed each morning," Robbins said.
This current generation is waiting longer to get married. The average age of women getting married in the ‘70’s was 21, and for men it was 23. In 2000, it jumped to 25 and 27 for women and men, respectively.
My Advice for Twentysomethings
Don’t be afraid to discuss your fears and doubts with supportive people. Dr. Drew Pinsky gave this advice for young adults on “Oprah,” “It's not about having the passion now, it is the journey that is important. Finding your passions can be a slow process - leave yourself room in your life for this exploration.”
I know my generation likes quick fixes, but we must develop patience while life unfolds. Realize that many of our peers are experiencing the exact same feelings. If you feel like your world is shaky, now more than ever is the time to rely on your faith.
