New and Improved Star Wars: The Original Still Reigns
By Wesley Rickards, 9.23.04

In 1541, Michelangelo finished painting the Sistine Chapel.

In 1824, Ludwig von Beethoven completed his 9th Symphony.

And finally, in 2004, George Lucas released the original “Star Wars” on DVD. That’s right, nerds such as myself, now have a reason to stay home on a Friday night. Truth be told, I haven’t been this excited since I learned how to solve a Rubik’s cube.

This isn’t the release of the recent “Star Wars” movies, which would best serve as liner for my cat’s litter box. I think most agree that these movies are awful.

Come on, have you stopped and looked at the plot of “The Phantom Menace” or “Clone Wars?” The infamous scrolling text made famous by the “Star Wars” series talks about a dispute over “taxation of trade routes” and the “endless debates” of the congress of the Republic. Huh? Apparently, I missed the memo that stated that the greatest science fiction series ever was being turned into an episode of “Galactic United Nations.” I think it would have been the same movie if I strapped a light saber onto Kofi Annan and told him to pod-race.

Let’s go a little further and do a side-by-side comparison between the original series, known as “The Trilogys” versus the prequels.

Prequels: Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Samuel L. Jackson in some small role.

Trilogy: Sir Alec Guinness as Obi-Wan, and Harrison Ford as Han Solo (advantage: Trilogy).

Prequels: Anakin Skywalker played by some annoying kid and the guy who played Stephen Glass in the movie “Shattered Glass.”

Trilogy: Mark Hamill (advantage: Trilogy).

Prequels: Chancellor Palpatine, Count Dooku and Darth Maul.

Trilogy: Darth Vader, one of the greatest villains of all-time (advantage: Trilogy).

Prequels: Jar-Jar Binks.

Trilogy: Chewbacca, Yoda, and the Ewoks (advantage: Take a wild guess).

Prequels: Natalie Portman as Queen and Senator something or other.

Trilogy: Princess Leia (advantage: Prequels). What?

Clearly, the original series – the groundbreaking one that launched the science fiction craze as we know it – is superior. In fact, without “Star Wars,” there would have been no “Matrix,” no “Terminator,” and no… umm… “Tron.” Without George Lucas, there would be no THX surround sound, meaning that the only noise coming from a subwoofer would be shudder rock music.

And, as an avid DVD lover myself, I can say that the three adventures of Mark Hamill as Luke Skywalker completes my collection. At last, there are no movies that I've enjoyed over the years that I still yearn for on widescreen DVD format.

But at last, the Force can be with me in the comfort of my own apartment any night of the week. And while the rest of the world may laugh at my nerdy lifestyle when I make comments like "technically, the TIE fighter sequences are inaccurate because there should be no explosions in space," I'm content--lost in my own little world in a galaxy far, far away.